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Joke of the Day
"It's actually the voices outside my head that irritate me the most."
Next Joke
"""my dad works at Nintendo"" ""No he doesn't ur such a liar"" *Donkey Kong walks in & takes off his hat & coat* ""Hey sport, good day at school?"""
"Lady: he's so mysterious Lady2: I wonder what he's thinking [Me, just wondering how easy it'd be to convert a nerf gun to fire meatballs]"
"Shirts that say SWAG and YOLO for sale at Walmart. Because dressing like an idiot should be affordable."
"What did the bee say to the flower ? Hello honey !"
"My cab driver just described Seattle as ""Not that horrible of a place."" Get that guy a job on the tourism board."
"I'm thinking of becoming a gynecologist....i hear there's plenty of openings."
"Does anyone know how much water I'm supposed to add to this baby powder to make an infant?"
"It's not that Jake couldn't juggle It's that he didn't have the balls to do it"
"[scale says I've gained 5 pounds] Me: It's probably just what I'm wearing. Wife: You're naked. Me: Wife: Me: It's a heavy deodorant."