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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear Adrian Peterson is trying out for the MLB? Apparently he's one hell of a switch hitter."

"What is it called when Anakin licks Padme's Butt? An outer-rim job"

"A boomerang walks into a bar. Gets thrown out but he came back in again."

"Mail order bride I just got a mail order bride from prague, I guess you could call her a Czech mate."

"[Olive Garden] Me: *walks in* Hostess: *hands me shovel* Bury the bodies in the back. Me: Huh? Hostess: When you're here you're family."

"What kind of bee makes milk? A boobee!"

"MAMA Be quiet Freddie JUST KILLED A MAN As your lawyer I- PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD Just- PULLED THE TRIGGER- We plead guilty, Your Honor"

"A cure has been found for homosexuality. Lip balm you rub it on your arsehole and it keeps the chaps away."

"Driving through a tunnel isn't much fun. It's really just a bore."

"The worst pub I've ever been to was called The Fiddle. It really was a vile inn."