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Joke of the Day

"I'm no wine connoisseur, but I do know this bottle of wine pairs perfectly with the bottle I just finished."

"An unemployed guy gets a call from the lady at the Employment agency Lady : I have two openings for you. Guy : I know. The lady hangs up."

"What do you call a lesbian who doesn't believe in gods? A gay-theist. EDIT: Spelling error. whoops"

"Growing up, I had a best friend. When we first met we didn't see eye to eye, but then he grew on me."

"What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped"

"What's the difference between an all girls soccer team and a tribe of pygmies? One is a bunch of cunning runts."

"Have you heard of Eats Unwanted Leftovers Man? He's the hero this city feeds"

"An ISIS recruit asks his wife.. ""Let's try 69 tonight"" Wife says, ""You should rather try 72"". She then blows him up."

"If you're Canadian before you enter the bathroom, and American when you leave, what are you inside? European!"

"My girlfriend told me she wanted a ring. So I said ""Bitch, take your phone off silent!"""