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Joke of the Day

"What did one sailor say to the other on Dec. 7 1941? There's a little nip in the air."

"Note for Santa Dear Santa, Please give me a big fat bank account and a slim body. Please don't mix those two up like you did last year. Thanks."

"""Not all guys wearing Flannel shirts are Lumberjacks."" *hits tree with axe* "" Take me for example. I just hate trees."""

"Where do books sleep? Under their covers."

"Damn boy, are you wearing an anti-gravity suit? 'Cause I'm not the least bit attracted to you."

"Why did the dwarf go out of business? The overheads were too high."

"Just got every hair on my body waxed off except eyebrows and head. I look like a naked mole rat. Men, come & get me if you're into rodents."

"Way back when, I thought technology would look more like flying cars and less like me yelling ""The laptop's not a touch screen,"" at my kids."

"Every time I think the younger generation is stupid, I remind myself that we took a long time to figure out that WWF was all fixed !!"

"Seven days with no food makes Juan week."