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Joke of the Day

"[dinner w/friends] ""How long you two been married?"" It's been thirt- (wife shaking head) teenish twenty- (still shaking) for a long time."

"The strongest person in a prison should be called mitochondria Because they are the powerhouse of the cell."

"What sound does a debugging Web Developer make? Open, Close!.................. Open, Close!.................. Open, Close!.................. *only true Web Developers will understand* *original joke*"

"Complaints via email or texts should be called ""Read Whine"""

"Hey Obama, how about, ""Everyone Has to Look Like Their Profile Picture in Person"" for a campaign slogan?"

"You know you're old when you watch a horror movie where annoying, partying college kids get murdered and you identify with the killer."

"What rhymes with ""hug me""? Chutney."

"A complete list of movie roles turned down by Nicolas Cage:"

"Is anyone going to tell America's Funniest Home Videos about youtube?"

"I was tailgating a slow driver earlier. He brake checked, flipped me off, and when that didn't work he turned his police lights on. Jerk."