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Joke of the Day

"I just brought a new computer... When i turned it on, instead of saying ""Welcome"", it said "" Hello"". It's a Dell."

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"A doctor gave a man six months to live ... ... The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months."
"What's worse then ants in your pants? Uncles."
"The other day the lifeguard told me to stop peeing in the pool... I got such a fright I nearly fell in."
"Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong. *(I'm sorry)*"
"I rented this bobcat to help me dig up my new pool but he won't even hold the shovel. He's just eating all the neighborhood squirrels."
"What do you get with breaking news? News casts"
"Why did the Otter collect parts for his spaceship? So he could go to otter space."
"What is Hitler's least favorite beverage? Juice."
"How do blondes' brain cells die? Alone"