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Joke of the Day

"CNN reports Hurricane Patricia ""hit luxury resorts and impoverished villages with equal ferocity."" Did they expect wealth-based discernment?"

"How do the Chinese name their children They drop silverware in the sink and listen to the sound it makes"

"When I lose my glasses I become a horrible plumber because I can't see shit."

"""A man in a wheelchair walks into the room..."" Um, teacher? (*true story, just happened!*)"

"Did you hear about that promising new male porn star? His studio described him as ""up and cumming""."

"""The police are looking for a man with one eye named Murphy."" ""What's the other eye called?"""

"A man with one leg shorter than the other visits the tower of Pisa. He says ""It looks fine to me."""

"I wouldn't mind all the penis enlargement emails if they weren't coming from my wife."

"The fact that the British call math ""maths"" scares me, since the only thing more frightening than math is plural math."

"My friend works in a recycling facility... And they showed me around to the can recycling area, and I wasn't to happy about it. It was soda pressing."