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Joke of the Day

"put a pic of a girl with perfect abs on my fridge so I'm motivated to suck in my gut every time I pull out the ice cream"

"Turning on a guy is like flipping a light switch. Turning on a woman is like wiring that switch & then building a nuclear plant to power it."

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virginia mobile"

"I was accused of sexual harassment But I couldn't of. Because her ass meant nothing to me."

"Taylor Swift Stabs Lucky Fan 1,989 times."

"Strings are usually pretty straight Unless they're knot"

"Knew a guy who wore a shirt that just said ""hentai"" to work knowing his boss couldn't write him up without admitting he knew what hentai is"

"Star Wars Spoilers Woosh Woosh Pewpew Pew Pew"

"I like short jokes."

"People who say they're 'living in the moment' must be hitting the refresh button like a motherfucker."