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Joke of the Day

"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he killed Hitler."

"For twenty years my wife and I were very happy people... ...then we met."

"Why don't you see any slow black people? All the slow ones are in prison."

"Hey girl, are you a compressed file? 'cause I wanna unzip you and open you up."

"Making a phone call that goes straight to voicemail releases dopamine."

"I'm meeting a man I really like for drinks. If I play my cards right, he'll be deleting my number in a few hours."

"wanna hear one long joke and two short jokes? Jooooooooke, joke joke."

"Why can kangaroos jump higher than a house? Because a house can't jump."

"After working a construction site in the blistering heat all summer, it made me really miss my old gig. Because 7/11 was an inside job."

"What does a mechanic do during a 1 night stand? He screws, nuts, and bolts"