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Joke of the Day

"Why weren't the baked beans heating up? They were just chilling"

"""How many people work at your company?"" About half of them."

"It's Cyber Monday, sooo.... what are you wearing?"

"Guy: girl are you a newspaper? Girl: no why? Guy: because there's a new issue with you every fucking day."

"Japanese gardener gets tired of being bossed around by homeowner You think he say ""Leaf me alone"", but he say ""Fuck you, homeowner, fuck you..."""

"Don't die a virgin. Seriously, there are terrorists waiting for you."

"I don't believe in peer pressure. Unless my friends do..."

"This is how bad immigration is getting. I walked into my local corner shop wondering if I could pay by my card and all I said was ""Visa?"" The fucking twat ran off!"

"A Silly Riddle! What is white looks like sand and found in the gusset your GF Knickers Clitty Litter!"

"How does a cow do math? With a cowculator!"