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Joke of the Day

"I put my slacks on just like everyone else, from a waterslide into the loving yet frighteningly powerful arms of my pet minotaur Ferdinand"

"I was so poor as a kid, we only had Onepac Shakur."

"I have to be honest, before the Winter Olympics I just thought Canada was a place Michael Moore made up."

"Don't you love the tan lines that girls get after sunbathing? It's almost like God came down and highlighted all the important parts."

"Never! And i mean never! say the word ""Bnag"" It's bang out of order."

"I own a gossipy parrot... which really says a lot about me."

"Why can't Rabbis eat pork and Priests can't have sex? Because the Rabbis got to choose first."

"The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared."

"I'm going start wearing a cape instead of headphones to deter people from talking to me."

"Still waiting on the ""Once you go black, you'll never go back"" episode of Mythbusters."