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Joke of the Day

"""Do you want to see a nice clock?"" I said, lowering my trousers, ""That's not a clock!"" She exclaimed when she saw my dick... It will be when you put two hands and a face on it!"

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"What do you call a Beatles fan who happens to be a Chinese sadomasochistic member of the American Army? Yellow Submarine"
"Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we'd still be talking about how we're not finding that airplane."
"If by retirement plan you mean a swear jar, then yes I do have a retirement plan."
"An island for people who tell other people to smile"
"What would you do with $1 Million? I would buy a new butt, mine has a hole in it."
"My least favorite racist joke Donald Trump"
"Why keyboards... Why keyboards don't sleep? Because they have two shifts!"
"QUESTION: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. ANSWER: The American people."
"What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting? [OC] I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer."