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Joke of the Day

"Call me old fashioned, but I'm dying of smallpox."

"An apple a day can keep ANYONE away if you throw it really hard at their face"

"What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf? A gras shopper."

"My favorite pokemon joke What did pikachu say when ash fell off a cliff? Pikachu, that's all he can say."

"My neighbor and I accidentally made eye contact today when she caught me making a sandwich in her kitchen"

"Prior to officially becoming a part of the United States, what was Oregon like? It was very unOregonized."

"What's the difference between a Golden Chihuahua and a Golden Shower? You never have to pay before the dog'll pee on you."

"Apparently, you still fail a roadside sobriety test if you just lay down and take a nap."

"Knock knock You: ""Knock knock"" Victim: ""Who's there?"" You: ""I ate up"" Victim: ""I ate up who?"" (May need to be read aloud)"

"*Lexus dealership* Sales person: if you buy a new Lexus we will make the first months payment Me: so who makes the other 59 payments?"