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Joke of the Day

"I was going to go to a clairvoyants meeting the other day but.... it was cancelled due to unforeseen events."

"It's so beautiful outside. I should probably do something...Like close the blinds so there isn't a glare on my computer screen."

"Q: Why don't you wear snow boots? A: Because they'll melt."

"Two girls sitting quietly together."

"What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other needs oinkment"

"How often do I make chemistry jokes? Periodically. I made one yesterday, but it had no reaction."

"Michael Phelps & I have a combined 19 gold medals & 4 DUI's."

"911: What's your emergency? Me: He text me first. Just to say hi. What do I do?! 911: Be cool Me: I sent him a list of baby names instead"

"My new girlfriend just gave me her number i"

"With the 1st overall pick in the Whose Line is it Anyway fantasy tennis draft Is Wayne Brady gonna have to Djokovic?"