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Joke of the Day

"911: What's your emergency? Me: He text me first. Just to say hi. What do I do?! 911: Be cool Me: I sent him a list of baby names instead"

"It only takes 3 inches to please a woman And it doesn't matter if it's visa or MasterCard"

"What do you call a black person that flies a plane? ...A pilot you racist piece of shit."

"Wife. I'm going to bed. Me. Nooo! Don't leave me alone with the fridge."

"Three bloody tampons are walking down the street. Which one talks to you first? None of them because they are stuck up cunts."

"A penny fell out of my pocket So I left it thinking ""I just raised their property value."""

"Spin the bottle is a lot like Russian Roulette if there's an ugly person there."

"A bunch of black dudes were standing in front of my gardening equipment. Bros before hoes."

"A joke my 4 year old nephew made up. (It makes no sense, but still made me laugh.) If the three legged turtle crosses the road what color is the rabbit? Green! Because Space Jam was a good movie."

"[emergency] [super hero appears] GUY: It's Doesn't-Understand-Rhetorical-Questions Man. Boy, am I glad to see you! HERO: I...I don't know"