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Joke of the Day

"How do you circumsize a blue whale? Four skindivers"

"The wife and I just got divorced. We split the house.........I got the outside."

"If you're a woman and you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it."

"How many teenage girls does it take to screw..... in a lightbulb? Just one to hold it up as the whole world revolves around her."

"I don't see how someone could mourn the loss of a Chinese dictator. It just seems unbereaveable to me."

"Where did little Suzzie go after the explosion? Everywhere."

"I cheated on my taxidermist girlfriend. Now I'm stuffed..."

"People ask if I saw any 'Red Flags'... Well, I was an anarcho-capitalist and she was a Hoxhaist..."

"Did you hear about the human cannonball? First day on the job, he was fired."

"A husband says to his wife... ""What would you do if I won the lottery?"". She replied ""I'd take half, then leave you."" ""Excellent!"", he retorted, ""I won 12, here's 6, now fuck off""."