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Joke of the Day

"What did Helen Keller say after being handed a cheese grater? That's the worst book I ever read."

"Last night I was using Google docs This morning I decided to use Google moorings."

"What's better than roses on your piano? Two lips on your organ."

"My Neighbor's House Based on the sounds coming from my neighbors house, they're either having amazing sx or putting together a dresser from Ikea."

"What do you call someone with a successful life? Certainly not me."

"I opened a door for a girl, but then the crowd flow never stopped so I've been holding this door open for 3 days. Send help."

"I don't know who you are, but if you don't stop sending me phone books, I will find you.....and I will kill you."

"I came, I saw, the neighbors complained."

"I asked the local prostitute if she could do something kinky so she put a set of jumper cables up my ass... Don't get me wrong, I liked it, but I couldn't believe how much she charged me!"

"Now that cell phones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again..."