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Joke of the Day

"here's a cool tip for beating the heat this summer: don't go outside ever there's guys who will bring you pizza dumbass"

"A farmer counted 196 cows in the pasture. But he rounded them up and had 200."

"My aunt used to say ""slow and steady wins the race"" she died in a fire"

"The Ancient Mayans have predicted the world will end on December 21, 2012. They also worshipped a Corn God named Ah Mun."

"I told my GF that I'm jealous of her V-J. She shows me NO pity, though. She just rubs it in my face"

"What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Christmas? A ghoul Yule!"

"Breaking News. Apple is to buy Ireland to solve the debt problem. It will be rebranded iLand"

"Calm down penguins. You're just a flashy suit and a few body parts away from being a platypus."

"1. Ask for something. 2. Throw it down. 3. Repeat steps 1 & 2. - Toddler To Do List"

"When someone asks if anyone has recommended Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy to me Reddit already."