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Joke of the Day

"What did Trump say to Hillary when she told him a joke? ""You're Hillaryus"" I'll walk myself out..."

"How do you know when your girlfriend is getting too fat? She fits in to your wife's clothes."

"My girlfriend broke up with me. When she did, I gave her a note that said ""Great Job!"" I wanted things to end on a positive note."

"My joke originality is like my girlfriend I don't have any"

"Maybe the Loch Ness Monster is really just giraffes that don't want people to know they like to swim YOU DON'T KNOW"

"Steph Curry did what Lebron couldn't do Win a championship in Cleveland"

"I almost died today, so naturally my first impulse was to pull my phone out and tweet about it."

"*driving my date to the ER* I told you my possum doesn't like direct eye contact. This one is on you."

"How many millennials does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to do it, the other to give him his ribbon."

"If it walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, the chances are she's practising for her next selfie"