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Joke of the Day

"why does mommy cry when she cuts onions? ""she feels guilty cuz she stole them. see *lifts son onto lap* your mother likes to steal onions"""

"""Your resume has MPGMA listed under hobbies. What exactly is that?"" Making people guess the meaning of acronyms."

"Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I. -Oscar Levant."

"What do you call a homosexual man on a wheel chair? A human being"

"You don't have to be Crazy to be my friend!........But it sure helps!"

"I used to play pocket hockey... ...but I stopped because the referee was a dick."

"What's the difference between a joke and two dicks? Your mom can't take a joke."

"I've always had a deep connection with mirrors I see a lot of myself in them"

"What do you call an acid trip so hard that it gives you visions of the future? Psychic-delic."

"What is worse then sweat on Olivia Newton John? Come on Eileen"