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Joke of the Day
"What is yellow and cant swim? An excavator. Why? It only has one arm."
Next Joke
"What do lesbians like best about sex? Tastes great...less filling....TASTES GREAT!!! LESS FILLING!!!"
"Even if they all unite against Trump, those seven countries won't get off the list A seven nation army couldn't hold Trump back."
"Can't wait for the first bad thing to happen in 2017 so I can post ""what is this, 2016?"" Ha! Today an on duty seeing eye dog growled at me."
"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? -Makes a choking noise-"
"Why do Congressmen make terrible cashiers? They're all too afraid of change."
"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implant. One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean."
"I never admit or deny anything it makes things more interesting."
"ME: long time no see! I heard you're a doctor FRIEND: I am. what do you do now? ME: [glances down at open twitter app] I'm a writer"
"What do you call a virgin redneck? A girl that can outrun her brothers."