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Joke of the Day

"Reasons I Can Relate To Raccoons: 1) Dark circles around eyes. 2) Eats junk. 3) Small and chubby. 4) Stays up all night. 5) Cute but will fight you."

"How do people want Trump right now? [removed]"

"Whats a fedora clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favorite color? M'genta"

"I'm not proud of this, but if the price is right, I'll buy your high school kid alcohol."

"What did the egg say to the pan or boiling water? ""It's gonna take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by a chicken."""

"How can you tell if a monster has a glass eye? When it comes out in conversation."

"i need some cat jokes!"

"What pair of shoes could the ginger only wear? The pair with no sole."

"What do the Washington Metro system and the Little Mermaid have in common? They're both under DC."

"My prediction for the fight. I predict Mayweather with a massive right hook and an uppercut to finish it. Then once he's done practicing on his girlfriend, he will lose on points to Manny."