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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend treats me like God She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something."

"SATs Roses are red, Violets are blue. I copied your answers, and I failed too."

"How many NorCal kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hella"

"Friend: You thinking what I'm thinking? Me: It's bullshit there weren't schools from other continents in the Triwizard Tournament? F: ...."

"A vampire walks into a bar... He orders a cup of hot water. When he gets it he smiles, whips out a bloody tampon, and says Time for Tea!"

"Hilary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected in to office. Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted."

"How do you eat the Flesh Hounds? WH40K Humor: I don't know about you, but I prefer my Khorne Dogs with ketchup."

"Great Russian Joke What's the difference between a shark and Vladimir Putin? The shark kills to eat, while Putin kills to ""AAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!"" ""Thump"" ...silence..."

"You know, they're making the prospective Mars astronauts shave their whole bodies prior to departure. That way, when it's time for blastoff... they'll baldly go where no man has gone before."

"Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road I'm going to leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says, ""Help, need ride!"""