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Joke of the Day

"Ebola is in Dallas? At least the Dallas Cowboys don't have to worry about it. They can't catch anything."

"I like my women how I like my exams... Curvy."

"I got an STD from a Canadian woman Hepatitis eh."

"[breakup] Who should get the cat? ""I don't know...let's see who he loves the most"" {3 weeks later} Can you tell? ""Nope"""

"when you post a tweet so good you have to do a bunch of push-ups & your mom bangs on your door & tells you to stop breathing so loud"

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands"

"Why couldn't the taxidermist finish anything he started? Because he kept getting side tracked by pet projects"

"When I'm in the shower, why does every noise sound like my phone?"

"The older I get, the more I understand why Squidward is always so annoyed."

"A pharmaceutical truck full of Viagra was stolen today. The police said to be on the lookout for hardened criminals"