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Joke of the Day
"Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was *two tired*."
Next Joke
"Cop: ""Did you kill this man?"" Me: ""No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."""
"When I was a kid I put paper in an oven to get it to burn... ...but the knob only went up to 450 degrees Fahrenheit."
"What did the cannibal do after dumping her boyfriend? She wiped her arse."
"What kind of bars do lesbian Eskimos go to? Klondike Bars"
"The plane starts going down. I say, ""If we die, know that hat is hideous"". We all survive. Great Aunt Mildred hasn't spoken to me since."
"There's Angie, and then there's Drunk Angie, and one of us tried to make it to Mexico on an exercise bike."
"Why do women sound like they're having an orgasm when they play tennis? And why does my mother play Tennis in her bedroom?"
"My buddies and I were running a train on this German girl I had to keep telling her there were only 8 of us."
"Some days I want to leave everything and just run away with him. Other days I want to own 3 baby dragons and be fireproof and naked."