106026

Joke of the Day

"Coworker said 'nice pink shirt, when did you come out?' I said 'IT'S NOT PINK IT'S SALMON!'. Then I snapped my fingers and skipped away."

"Fool me once, fine by me. Fool me twice, jokes on you. I still don't give a fuck."

"""Hey does it smell like I took a shit?"" ah, sulfur so good."

"Did you hear about the Muslim artists who threw paint bombs at a building? They blue it up."

"a good dentist and a bad dentist finds out about a new candy store opening good dentist: oh man, i hope the people who go there brush and floss regularly bad dentist: ALRIGHT!!! job security!"

"Why do witches laugh when they ride their brooms? because they're not wearing any panties."

"Why do people go to bed? Because the bed won't come to them."

"What currency do they use in space? Star bucks."

"Coworker: Stop Me: collaborate and listen Coworker: Don't Me: you forget about me Coworker: Hey! Me: teacher, leave them kids alone"