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Joke of the Day
"Whatever you do, always give 100%... Unless of course, you're donating blood."
Next Joke
"The group wanted to pour some wine but unfortunately... Decant"
"I overheard a guy complaining angrily about the NSA tracking him Some people are so annoying when they have a chip on their shoulder."
"Don't cut yourselves 'cause Justin smokes pot, Beliebers. Cut yourselves 'cause you listen to Justin Bieber. (And aim for a major artery.)"
"How did the astrologer cross the road? In his Taurus!"
"Reporter: Russell Wilson, do you want another Superbowl ring? Wilson: Nah I'll pass."
"Irreconcilable differences The judge says to Mickey, ""I can't grant you a divorce because you think Minnie is crazy."" ""I didn't say she was crazy,"" says Mickey, ""I said she was fucking Goofy!"""
"I got fired from a suicide hotline Apparently they look down upon reverse psychology."
"My cat sleeps on the refrigerator... I get to see her every 30 min"
"How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten- tickles FTW!"