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Joke of the Day

"When the professor starts off the semester asking ""Why are you here?"" So I can get a job."

"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the referee calling fowls"

"Why did the woman marry the shoe maker? Because she was his sole mate."

"what room zombies and vampires can't enter? the living room."

"Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend. [X Post from r/Fantasy] They're both cauldron."

"What do you do with 365 used condoms? Roll them up into a tire and call it a Goodyear?"

"How do you find a blind man in a nudist camp? It's not hard."

"My wife is getting fatter... I noticed when her whip cream bikini turned into a one piece"

"My wife said she was feeling Light-Headed from a Low Iron Level... So to help her, I raised the Ironing Board to a more Suitable Height..."

"I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the sidewalk! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse."