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Joke of the Day

"The kid next door just challenged me to a water fight, so I thought I'd tweet this while I wait for the water to boil..."

"I became a banker. Then I lost interest."

"My run today was like my last date. Short, slow, and frigid."

"Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo."

"Two old drunks I was sitting in a bar with my friend and I noticed two old drunks across the bar from us. I laughed and said, ""That's us in ten years."" My friend replied, ""That's a mirror, dipshit."""

"My local newspaper ran a story on the decrease of cow psychics. It was called ""Steak Medium Rare"""

"How do we know that hamburgers love classic music? They're often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall!"

"Knock Knock Knock, Knock. Who's there? Horton. Horton, who? Horton Hears A Who."

"Today I read this book about Alzheimer's It was about Alzheimer's."

"Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don't C#"