105719

Joke of the Day

"Funny things to say after loudly farting in a public toilet I'll start with a couple I've heard: ""Systems check cleared - ready for drop..."" ""Whups, I'm sorry, I need to get that fixed..."""

"CD worms made tapeworms obsolete."

"Why do Pakistanis love football (soccer) so much? ... Because whenever they get a corner they open a 7/11. PS: I'm Pakistani and I found this joke to be hilarious."

"I went on a caving trip with my friend. I shouted to him that I found some Basalt. He shouted back ""That's Gneiss!"""

"My dad told me that the future was in my hands Didn't know that the future was 9 inches long"

"The light at the end of the tunnel better be a damn computer screen"

"Desire to not get beat up > Desire to wear a cloak"

"I am AWFUL at picking up if a woman is into me. Even if one said, ""I want to do you."" I'd respond, ""What do you mean? Like an impression?"""

"A Baby Whale asks his father where he came from... His father says, ""My penis, son."" ""Oh, thanks Dad"" ""You're Whalecum"""

"Why is gay marriage still a thing? Because people are fucking assholes"