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Joke of the Day

"Why did the guitarist get thrown in jail? He was caught fingering A Minor."

"My boyfriend broke up with because I make too many Linkin Park references, but in the end it doesn't even matter."

"Friend: How's the wine? Me: It's exCHARDONNARY Friend: *taking my glass away* No."

"What did Hitler say when he was asked where he would like to sit? He said ""Mein Kampfy chair."""

"Q: What's small red and goes up and down? A: A tomato in an elevator."

"I told my girlfriend she was drawing her eyebrows too high... She looked surprised."

"What is springy and springy? the Easter Bunny"

"I got a job installing elevators It's some next level shit"

"I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people."

"In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I'm right."