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Joke of the Day
"Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough."
Next Joke
"*Me ordering food, wearing a new white shirt* I'll have whatever is the most splattery and red"
"DINOSAUR PARTY TRICERATOPS: GROUP SELFIE!! *hands phone to T-Rex T-REX: Still not funny you guys. Not. Funny."
"What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? $3.99 a minute."
"How do you like your juice? I like mine gassy and concentrated."
"The cops did a high-risk raid on a drug operation located at a barn I guess you could say it was a *high steak operation*"
"I missed a call from a girl last night... I missed a call from a girl last night. I called her back, she said she must've butt dialed me. I said, ""Maybe your butt knows what it wants."""
"Did you hear about the short psychic who escaped prison? He's a small medium at large"
"Her text: I'm tanning. Call you when I'm done. My thoughts: SHE'S NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED"
"Your momma is so dumb jokes your momma is so dumb she sits on the tv and watches the couch"