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Joke of the Day

"I told my son if he doesn't step it up, I'm going to start living vicariously through someone else's kid."

"Why didn't Jesus start a charity? Cuz they're not for prophets."

"Apparently women prefer men who are taller than them. So I guess it could be said that tall women have higher standards."

"A man once thought he'd discovered a new primary color but it proved to be merely a pigment of his imagination."

"Me: It'll just make mom grumpy, so don't tell her that the dishwa..... 4 year old: MOM! DISHWASHER'S BROKEN!"

"I once dated a girl with two noses. She wasn't much to look at but she smelled great."

"Matthew 11, Luke 9 and John 12... ...are just three of the boys Father O'Reilly has to stay at least 50 yards from."

"I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me... She calls me her sixty second lover...."

"What's green and says ""hey I'm a frog""? A talking frog! Stolen from ""Friends"" still hilarious."

"Dog training The plan to get my dog to swallow semen is coming on a treat."