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Joke of the Day

"I got a tattoo on my penis that says ""TINY"" when I'm flaccid. When I'm erect, it says ""TICONDEROGA NY"""

"What is the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste."

"Today, a hobo called me a beautiful princess, but he pronounced it ""I KNOW YOU HAVE CHANGE, YOU STUPID CRACKER BITCH!""."

"What do you call an italian hooker? A pasta-tute"

"Why was the butcher fired? Because he was caught *beating his meat*!"

"A photon checks into a hotel... A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. Photon replies: ""No, I'm traveling light"""

"What has four legs and a cunt halfway up its back? A police horse"

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler? A mustache"

"In light of Jeremy Clarkson's recent firing from BBC... If James May quits in return we will all be in dis-May."

"*aliens land on Thanksgiving* *me showing them around* ""We have a specific bone we break from the carcass to make a wish"" Aliens: Savages"