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Joke of the Day

"I dont mind you texting during a movie as long as you dont mind me creeping in your bedroom at 3am & doing Gangnam Style w a pack of hyenas."

"M.C. Escher was born on this day in 1898. Although if you study the timeline of his life, it also looks like he was born in 8681."

"In all honesty, my new dating service, ""Well You're Not So Great Yourself"" hasn't really taken off like I'd hoped."

"*puts down window Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Yes *puts up window and drives away"

"Why is rust on a car orange? Because its true car-rot"

"the face you make when a stranger's dog starts sniffing your crotch"

"There's three things you should know about me, I'm Canadian, I watch Hockey, and... I'm sorry."

"Judge: Doctor how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are on dead people."

"Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others."

"Do you like fishsticks? yeah? LIKE IN THE MOUTH? THEN YOU'RE A GAY FISH"