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Joke of the Day

"*Wife thumps door* ""I KNOW UR IN THERE! U BLEW OUR SAVINGS ON A SHITTY INVENTION, DIDN'T U?!"" NO! *furiously flushes 1000s of dog-tampons*"

"Probably a lot of horses sitting on couches today talking about how they could have ""gone Derby"" if they hadn't gotten hurt in college."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It really won't matter. He isn't coming anyway."

"Many ravens are called a congress... Owls are a parliament, eagles are a convocation and crows are a murder. Does this mean that a group of vultures are a corporation?"

"Food trucks were invented by a guy who really loved fast food but hated how cheap it was & how he didn't have to stand in line forever."

"How Do You Make A Blind Man Angry? Give him a basketball and ask him what it says."

"My wife deserved it... She didn't let me wank, I had to beat something!"

"Rabbits... Rabbits bang like there's no fucking tomorrow."

"What goes ooooooo? A cow with no lips. ;) ;) ;)"

"Viagra shipment stolen... Hardened criminals on the loose."