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Joke of the Day

"but sir, if a picture is worth a thousamd words then i dont understamd why my essay cant just be 4 or 5 emojis"

"I'm sorry to hear your uncle was run over by a boat in Venice. My gondolences."

"just got mad that firefox was telling me that satan was spelled wrong but turns out it just wanted me to capitalize it and show some RESPECT"

"Two Condoms Two condoms walk by a gay bar. One says to the other, ""Let's go in here and get shit-faced."""

"*goes to pond* *duck hands me $100* ""Give me the hard stuff."" *hands over bag of croutons*"

"When I call 911, I'm gonna do a Sean Connery impersonation to briefly amuse the jurors at my trial."

"What do you call a gay magician? A poof"

"Trevor: That's a cool pair of stockings you have on Jill. One red and one green. Jill: Yes and I have another pair just like it at home."

"""How high are you! ?"" demanded the officer. ""No Officer, it's ""Hi, how are you?""."" replied the kid."

"I feel like Donald Trump and Bill Clinton have a $1 bet that Trump can make Hillary president and Bill can make her not president."