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Joke of the Day

"I guess Jesus turned water into wine... But I'm not too far behind because if I drink enough wine it tastes like water... so I got that going for me"

"Behind every HD picture of a girl, there is a friendzoned DSLR photographer boy :P"

"Knock knock Who's there? Dave. Oh hi Dave, what's new? *The Boss Faints*"

"So, my feminist cousin is diabetic and recently, her legs were amputated... ...safe to say, she won't be jumping to conclusions anytime soon."

"If I had a dollar for every punchline I forgot... Uh...damn it!"

"Q: How many Orthodox Rabbis does it take to change a light bulb? A: Change?"

"Every man has two heads... One holds the brain, and the other makes all the decisions."

"[first date] ME: I'm from a broken home. HIM: When did your parents divorce? ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed."

"That moment. You're driving, music blaring singing at the top of your lungs. You're a rockstar till the music cuts out & you hear your voice"

"England doesn't have kidney banks, but it has a Liverpool."