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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that men are more successful than women in committing suicides? Ladies, can you gals do anything right?"

"Why did the cynic fall asleep? Because he had a bed day."

"How did the pedophile pianist get caught? He accidentally let people hear him playing in D-minor."

"There are two types of people in this world: people who pee in the shower and liars."

"two lesbians Lesbian 1: ""Hey! I finally found your dido!"" Lesbian 2: ""Great! I knew you had it in you!"""

"I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food."

"What do you call a guy that's lost his car? Carlos"

"If you ever get attacked by a shark, don't forget to take a moment and appreciate the statistical improbability of it all."

"What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom? If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy?"

"Being a prostitute is like being the heel piece of a loaf of bread. Everyone touches you, but no one really wants you."