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Joke of the Day

"I was talking to my Jewish doctor friend... And I asked him how much he charges for a curcumcision. He said that he does it for free, but he gets to keep the tip."

"As long as Apple doesn't announce Ben Affleck as the new iPhone I think everything is going to be OK."

"When I'm at the pool, hopefully girls see the scratches on my body and assume I'm a great lover, and not that I enjoy giving cats piggybacks"

"I asked a Chinese girl for her number... She said ""sex! sex! sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said ""wow"" Then her friend said,"" she means 666-3629"""

"Did you hear about the dyslexic occultist? He sold his soul to Santa."

"Shut up & eat. There are people starving in Abercrombie & Fitch."

"""You had a life. It was this long. Here's a rock."" - tombstones"

"Don't try to understand women. Women understand women, and they hate each-other."

"A jewish boy goes up to his father and says ""Abba, I need 40 dollars."" The father looks surprised and says "" THIRTY DOLLARS? What do you need Twenty dollars for?"""

"Donald Trumps favorite movie is E. T. Because the fucking alien went back home!"