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Joke of the Day

"I'm pretty sure that while girls are under anesthesia getting breast implants the doctors secretly do brain explants."

"Two guys are walking down the street when they see a dog licking his balls. The first guy says, ""Man, I wish I could do that. The second guy says, ""Pet him, maybe he'll let you."""

"I have bulimic Alzheimers I always eat too much but forget to throw up."

"After cribbing about yet another one of my Pranks, I told my girlfriend that she ""Can't take a Joke"" ""I let u put your cock in me don't I"" she replied."

"Phone just autocorrected ""your"" to ""yore"" in case thou wouldst think I'm smarter than thee."

"Mary faked a smile when she opened the frankincense and myrrh."

"wife: im sick of him jeopardizing our marriage therapist: how do you respond to that kyle? me: ill take susan is being a huge baby for $600"

"Q - Why are bachelors thin, and married men fat? A - Bachelors come home, check to see what's in the fridge, and go to bed. Married men come home, check to see what's in the bed, and go the fridge."

"I just burned 2000 calories... That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap!!!"

"What do people say when they hear about the assassin from Wales? Welsh-hitman!"