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Joke of the Day

"The baby in the car next to me is either unable to control his arms or hes throwing me gang signs. Im not taking any chances. *locks doors*"

"Octopus! how many tickles does it take to make a octopus laugh? ten tickles!!"

"I wish they had an app that allows you to delete your number from other ppl's phones."

"What's it called when you have decided to stop eating cold turkey sandwiches?"

"One of my grandfather's favorites. What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor? ""Ptui"""

"According to an old Irish saying... Summer is the best day of the year"

"What happened to the Japanese man who walked into a wall with a boner He hurt his nose. There are more boner jokes at http://www.bonerjokes.com"

"I met a girl with twelve nipples... Sounds funny, dozen tit."

"""Haha, Imagine Dragons. What a dumb band name."" -Neutral Milk Hotel fans"

"Comas make a big difference in a sentence. For example: Ben is in a hurry. Ben is in a coma."