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Joke of the Day

"Earth was the first world I created. It has all kinds of problems. #firstworldproblems"

"Two nuns... There are two nuns in a bath. One says, ""where's the soap?"" The other says, ""it does rather, doesn't it!"""

"*I gently remove an eyelash from her cheek* ""Make a wish,"" I say. *I am crushed by a T-Rex wearing a saddle seconds later*"

"So my friend is dating twins... ...And I said, ""Isn't it hard to tell them appart?"" He replied with, ""Well not really, the brother has a moustache."""

"I went to the doctors today told him ""I've got a problem, every time I finish masturbating I sing the American national anthem"". The doctor said, ""Don't worry, a lot of wankers sing that""."

"Sorry in advance for the pun... So they opened a new zoo by my house, it really sucks. They only have one dog....it's a total shih tzu."

"Several toilets were stolen last night. Police say they have nothing to go on."

"Definition: Politics Poli (Poly): Many.... Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures"

"Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes."

"Why doesn't Santa give gifts to naughty kids? Because it'd Krampus style."