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Joke of the Day

"My nephew asked, 'Do you have a New Years hangover today?' I said, 'No. Hangovers are for people who stop drinking'."

"What did Jesus said when he resurrected ? Fucking lag, three days to respawn !"

"Is chicken soup good for your health ? Not if you're the chicken !"

"When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a taboo subject, these days if you mention botox no one raises an eyebrow."

"You wouldn't hate anything about yourself if the world hadn't taught you how."

"No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don't Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this."

"Pickup Lines Everyone says you're an Angel, but I think you're Medusa because whenever I stare into your eyes I turn rock hard. Do you like bad grades cause I can give you all the D's"

"My dog wouldn't shut up so I told him I killed the mailman. He was jealous but proud of me."

"If you drop a brown bear and a white bear into a lake, which one dissolves first? The white one, because it's **Polar**."

"Proposed to my Chinese girlfriend today I proposed to my Chinese girlfriend today and she cried tears of soy."