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Joke of the Day

"how do we know that jews crucified Jesus? they used one nail for both legs"

"To all my friends who sent me best wishes for 2013, it did fuck all. For 2014 could you please send money, alcohol or petrol vouchers...Cheers!"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when it pees? Because the p is silent."

"If you can't do what's right you can always do what's left"

"Breaking News: Reliable sources reveal that Donald Trump is actually Cthulu. The absurd hairdo isn't absurd at all. It hides the tentacles."

"What do bostonians call dogs that protect heaven's gates? God dogs"

"What does Peter Gabriel sing on the toilet? I am the extruder..."

"Some say Steve Jobs died too young. Others say it was simply an homage to Apple's attitude towards battery life."

"Dear Parents If you want to find out where your Son/Doughter is in the house, Simply turn off WI-FI and Wait"

"I planted all the evidence for evolution once it became clear it did not serve the best interest of My reputation to take credit for you."