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Joke of the Day

"How do French mathematicians cover their genitals? With Undeuxwear"

"I watched the African version of ""Man v. Food"", but it was just a half-hour of a guy chasing a gazelle."

"What do all failing students in New Orleans have in common? They are all below ""C level""."

"For the past month I have woken up to find hundreds of flowers with no heads all over my doorstep, garden and drive. I think I'm being stalked."

"I masturbated so good last night, when I woke up, my dick was making breakfast."

"Donald Trumps favorite movie is E. T. Because the fucking alien went back home!"

"How does a chef get to work? He woks."

"Why couldn't the American fly home from Russia after the Olympics? Because he was Snow'den."

"My sister and I decided that we want to start our own businesses. She's going to open a furniture store called 'Sofa King' and I'm going to open a soup restaurant next door called 'Stew Pit'."

"Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election? Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him."