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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Why do you want to work in a bank Alan? Fred: 'Cuz there's money in it sir."

"What type of music do astronauts love? Neptunes!"

"Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Twitter. ""...you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave..."""

"I think always mixing up vocabulary words in school hurt my career options. Because I always wanted to be an archipelago just like ""Indiana Jones""!"

"A creationist puts his glases on and says: ""Evolution can't be real, just look at the human eye!! It's too perfect to be just chance!"""

"Heard about the public speaker with the rodent up his butt? He had to cancel a speech because he was gerbily constipated."

"What do you get if you cross a highway with a fridge? Killed."

"Why did the banker resign? His customers lost interest in him."

"So my dad was at the hardware store and asked if I needed anything. I said I was hungry and he said... ""Sure I'll get you some nuts ;)"""

"Were you on Baywatch? Cause I've been watching you... bae.. More of a creepy line."