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Joke of the Day

"PC is getting way out of hand. You can't even say black paint anymore. Instead it's gotta be ""Jamal, please paint."""

"Whats hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before.... A Key"

"Daylight Saving Time ends today. So I have to remind myself, that the clock on my microwave will be wrong for the next several months."

"Hour 3: The group of hipsters has accepted me. However, the leader seems suspicious of the cinnamon roll man bun I taped on top of my head."

"The other day someone asked me my 5 year plan I told them I don't have 2020 vision"

"I'm tired of being dissed by automated restroom paper towel dispensers."

"People that say ""money can't buy happiness"" either have no money or buying the wrong things."

"combine the name of the first enemy you ever had and the name of the last thing you ate out of a microwave to get your Horrible Asshole Name"

"How do you get four old ladies to yell ""FUCK?"" Get one to yell ""BINGO!"""

"the blood of the innocent will run in the streets? maybe it should get a car or at least use the sidewalk"