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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend's keyboard broke, and she sent me this message. ""HelpmyspacebarisbrokenandIwouldlikeanalternative"" What the hell is a ternative?"

"It's a long shot... but does anyone know a good joke about a sniper?"

"Do you want to hear a bad joke? *my life* Sorry if that was not likeable and miserable, *just like my face* Okay, I am going to stop before it gets too dark and too empty, *just like my soul.*"

"This is the last pair of shoes I buy from a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with, but I just keep tripping."

"What does a gentleman do after sex? He puts the diaper back on."

"Psychic buys clothing Employee: How about this one? Psychic: That shirt is too small Employee: You didn't even try it on Psychic: I'm a medium"

"What do you call a fake noodle? an impasta..."

"How many people from Chernobyl does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They glow in the dark."

"You're a 10...on the pH scale cause you're basic."

"What's the difference between a Jewish mother and a terrorist? You can negotiate with terrorists."