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Joke of the Day
"You're a 10...on the pH scale cause you're basic."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between Mike Jones and Michael Jordan? Mike Jones is Still Tippin'."
"How do you say nachos in English? Mine."
"Irish chili How many beans do you put in Irish chili? Two hundred and thirty-nine. Why? Because one more would be two-farty."
"Jesus, don't take the wheel. Give me your keys. Sober up. *hands cup of water* DON'T TURN THAT INTO WINE AGAIN"
"In Soviet Russia, The LSD take you."
"No one plans to fail. They just go online. Then check their e-mail. Then go to twitter...and it just happens organically."
"Man in a BMW pulls up next to a kid in the street... and says, ""Excuse me, lad. If I give you 5 bucks will you come in my car?"" Kid says, ""Give me 10 and I'll come in your mouth!"""
"What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire? How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)"
"What was Tigger doing in the toilet? Looking for Pooh"